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|
David
Board
 August
24, 2012
Dear Readers,
I always enjoy the ranting
humor in my friend David Board's (AKA Wildman) emails and I
thought I'd share the one I got this week.
|
| Enjoy, |
Hi
Steve,
Hey I just got my latest Sectional Charts from
NOS and I wondered if you had yours yet. When you get a chance
take a good look at them.
There have been some very
disturbing changes. Of course the price went up as usual that
never changes, but as unbelievable as this my sound, some of the
most important and useful information on the charts has now been
omitted. That's right! The first thing I noticed was that they
no longer show airport unicom frequencies in the airport data
block. Can you believe it?
Yes, where the frequency
used to be there is now just the letter U. Well no kidding
batman! I know there is a unicom there but I need the frequency
you bloody moron. This seems like a deliberate malfeasance or
dereliction of duty issue to me and I am wondering how those
criminals drawing a government pay checks at the NOS chart
division can get away with it. What kind of useless information
is the letter U anyway. How much more ink would it have taken to
put the frequency in there?
This is a very provocative
development if you ask me. Its obviously an insult from the
lazy, pen pushing weasels at the NOS, aimed like a slap in the
face at honest God fearing people who fly here in America. Why
don't they just print them all on April 1st and be done with it.
Or just put the word "Guess" where the frequency used
to be and be so we can all enjoy the joke. Could this the handy
work of the department of Homeland Security by any chance? Is
the unicom frequency information now published on a need to know
basis only? Can our God forsaken government get any worse? I
guess this means that if you want that vital data you have to
have to buy a GPS data base with current the frequencies on it
or have a current copy of the relevant Airport Facility
Directory (AFD) on board cluttering up the cockpit. Just what I
need when I come into a busy airport with no control tower;
another book to reference when common sense dictates that I
should looking be looking for traffic. No unicom frequency on
the chart, its tantamount to an act of government sponsored
terrorism! Unbelievable!
Steve, how about the guy in a
bit of a flap with his pants on fire? There he is having to
divert to an alternate airport in an emergency. An airport that
he is very likely to be unfamiliar with. Now it seems that on
top of dealing with the seat back pockets behind him that are
always stuffed full of sick sacks and old Sectional Chart, now
he will need to have a sizable box full of AFD's and nerves of
steel to maintain the calm collected demeanor of a pilot under
pressure while he deftly juggles the joy stick, his useless
chart and the fire extinguisher, only now you can add looking up
the frequency in the AFD if he is to declare his emergency to
the local traffic. All this with his damn pants on fire? Let's
hope he has a functional autopilot on board.
OK, I
hear you saying it Steve... "Who has time to dial in a
frequency on the radio when his pants are on fire for goodness
sake!" And as usual you are absolutely right, but then,
what if he arrives at a busy little airport like Carol County
(TSO) for instance; where the home made pies are frankly second
to none anywhere in the world, and the traffic resembles the
approach to an Apiary on an afternoon in June (no Steve that has
nothing to do with Monkies, an Apiary is a cluster of bee hives,
get it?) and at an airport like TSO, which as you know has no
taxiways, it seems misbegotten to rob the chart user of unicom
frequency information and force some poor unfortunate pilot who
made the mistake of having both a Roman candle and a bic lighter
in his back pocket... (hey, you may laugh, but its still
perfectly legal to smoke in the cockpit if you like and there is
nothing in the FAR's about fireworks) so poor old Sparky now has
to reach behind him and fumble around in the seat back pocket in
order to dig out the AFD and go to the index and figure out the
airport's proper name because they are not listed by the name on
the chart, to find the unicom frequency with sparks and smoke
pouring out of his Bermuda shorts. Especially if just as he gets
on final, some sleepy pilot down there on the ground, full of
the perfect pie crust and a delicious mixture of exotic fruit
compote, is now fixing to back taxi on to the runway from the
midway point! And if that's not bad enough, it gets worse!
Gone
also are the altitude limits on class B airspace. Obviously the
FAA has not been getting enough airspace infractions, sp they
must have bribed someone at NOS to omit class be floor and
ceiling altitudes too. This is the equivalent to poking out one
of the pilot's eyes with a sharp stick. Good grief. Do you
suppose this has got something to do with Obama being in the
White House? Are we cutting back on ink for navigation charts to
pay for this new fancy european style health care fiasco? I
don't get it Steve. This is the craziest damn thing I have ever
seen from any government agency: ever!. This could be the spark
that ignites the next revolution! Well, I am just not going to
use current charts anymore. So there. They are worthless now
anyway. That's all there is to it. I will cancel my subscription
today Its safer to use the old ones that have more information
on them. Just ask that pilot with the scorched and smoldering
underwear.
Hey, wait a minute, Sportys sent me a Wac
chart! I ordered all Sectionals, why those idiots!
Best,
David |
